shelby_danvers: Ancient Egyptian symbol (Ankh)
shelby_danvers ([personal profile] shelby_danvers) wrote2011-01-28 08:48 pm
Entry tags:

Contemplations

I've been spending a lot of time on the House of Netjer forums lately, trying to get back in touch with everything...

 

I feel like a beginner fresh to the House, fresh to Kemetic belief in general, because of how long I neglected it, and how long I pretended to find faith and solace in another religion altogether. It was such a foolish move, and looking back, I wish I had turned to my Parents, my Nisut, my community. Instead, I ran from it and tried to leave it all behind. It was a silly, foolish move. No wonder I felt so spiritually empty and bored!

A couple weeks ago now, I really started feeling the pull back to Kemetic Orthodoxy. I had wandered into a downtown shop that sells Egyptian-themed stuff, just to talk to the guy there, and the very first thing I see is an absolutely gorgeous statue of Bast. The kind that makes you just stop and stare with your mouth hanging open.

I can almost hear her saying "well, I had to get your attention somehow..."

There was really no fighting it after that. Mom wanted me to come home. So, I came home. And let me tell you, the moment I posted my first message on the HoN forums, announcing my return, it felt as if a tremendous burden had lifted from my shoulders. No more pretending to believe in something I really didn't. I was back where I belonged, in my Parent's arms, welcomed back by the Kemetic Orthodox community.

I'm feeling Bast a lot more since the return. I think She's glad to have her daughter back home, and is staying close by my side to make sure I don't run off again. And I'm glad to have Her there.